Why my research on DREAMS reached a dead end?

A few months back, I dived into a topic that has been in my interest list for a long time. I started recording my dreams and commenced my personal research on the topic.

I started by doing what all researchers do at the start of their work. I read as much literature I could on the topic. My major roadblock arrived in my first step. I found the literature available on dreams inadequate, mostly hypothetical and confusing to be very honest. Even though dreams have been a major research topic for world`s leading scientists, psychologists and dream analysts; its surprising how little progress has been made in the field of dream analysis. Even Freud`s Interpretation Of Dreams felt largely incomplete or to be more precise impractical atleast for me.

Literature was the first roadblock but even when reading things that didn't satisfy my logical mind, things started to fall into place inside my head. What I realized is the subject of dreams is not a 1+1=2 phenomenon . I was looking for a clear cut path but instead I started developing a picture of the concept. It was not clear. There was no way in checking if I had learned something . But I somehow got the framework that leading scientists have been using in dream analysis in my head. Its hard to explain this state of mine. I have a picture of something and now I felt I can use it for my research but there was no logical means of putting that knowledge into practice.

My second roadblock was my data. My data was "dreams". I had started recording my dreams and asked many of my friends and family to jolt down and provide me with their dreams which I could then use for analysis . But it turned out to be logically flawed method. Soon I realised that the dreams I collected from others were highly vague and chaotic. Some of my data providers started conciously focusing on seeing and recording their dreams. So I found their dreams rather stressed and exaggerated . To reduce this technical flaw, I need to do the following-
1- I needed to be very close to my patient and have intimate conversation with him about his dreams .
2- I needed to know his past experiences so that when he consiously joins parts of a fragmented dream I could diagnose if he is exaggerating or not.
Both of these tasks seemed tedious.

Since I couldn't trust someone else's dreams, I turned to my own dreams. An obvious conclusion I reached is dreams can be influenced by external \internal physical stress.
= When I had to pee badly, I saw dreams of reliving myself.
= Once I fell asleep in an awkward posture. My hand was below my body and the blood supply to my palm was compromised so that my palm felt sore. Since I was asleep, there was no method for my mind to restore circulation to my palm so it used the dream pathway. I saw a very large spider crawling on my palm. I am terrified of spiders so I abruptly moved my hands in my dreams to get rid of the spider. But I somehow moved my hands in real too so that my arm was released from that awkward position and normal circulation was restored. My mind dived into my subconcious mind derived an entity that can cause sudden hand movement, connected it to my dream sequence and restored homeostasis.

Next conclusion was the wish fulfilling property of dreams. I can safely say that dreams are an outlet for hidden desires and also an expression of suppressed rage, happiness , sorrows and even sexual temptations.

Other than this even my own dreams started puzzling me. I couldn't discover a pattern from which I could derive any conclusion.

So that's that. My research has reached a dead end for now .
Lack of adequate literature, lack of effective dream recording technique and lack of practice in dream analysis combined with the sheer lack of credibility in dream data halted my project. But by no means I am declaring that dreams must be left alone. I still believe dreams carry significant importance in our psychic existence and even in the causation and healing of diseases. Its a minor hurdle that I hope I will overcome with further experience and knowledge. But for now I just wanna dream. 

The Art Of Being Singular

The art of being singular. The art of being laser focused on everything you do is a necessary virtue. The habit of giving 100% in everything , or to put in medical terms adopting the "all or none" principle of neurons can lead us to monumental success in life.

Today is a world of connection. Being connected is nomore a necessity but a lifestyle choice that comes very naturally to all of us. Today`s world is also the world of plurality. By plurality I mean the lack of singularity. Yes we nomore are singular like we used to be. We are anything but. We multitask in everything we do. When was the last time when you were not thinking\doing something else while you were pooping? Yes in my view even pooping can be a rewarding experience if we enjoy it without preocuupying our minds with random shit.

I have my own hypothesis on this. Our neurons work based on electromagnetic waves. So in a way our thoughts are a complex matrix of electromagnetic waves. Electromagnetic waves possess energy and energy can be converted to matter. That is why I believe thoughts are powerful. By thinking, you are sending EM waves to the universe which can manifest as matter or in other words your reality. You by thinking can create your own reality and destiny.

When you are not singularly focused, there is lot of interferance on the energy you dissipate to the universe. So the universe cannot grasp the true potential of your energy. But when you are laser focused, you are sending waves of constant frequency and energy into the realm of the universe so you have a greater chance of manifesting your dreams and ambitions.

Give 100% in everything you do or just don't do it because it won't be as effective. I want to be singular in work, in love, in sleep, in joy, in sorrow in everything I do. I just want to give all I have to everything I do even the most trivial of pursuits because how you do anything is how you do everything.

This is not a scientifically proved phenomenon. But I am willing to live my life trusting it and trusting the universe that it can give me everything I desire through my thoughts and laser focused work ethic.

I have come to realize the importance of being singular. For most of my life I was a floodlight, bright but limited. Now I aim to become a laser, dim but powerful enough to cut through metals. I want to become singular in everything I do. That is why meditation is such a bliss. During meditation you are singular , that is why you feel a higher power. In my view, we can attain this singularity and through it the eternal bliss that we all crave in everything we do, yes even while taking a dump. 😁

Time Economics

Average life expectancy of humans= 70 yrs (more or less)

Time economics of normal humans:
Sleep= 8 hrs a day= 70*365*8= 204400 hrs= 23.33 yrs
Eating= 1.5 hrs a day= 1.5*70*365=4.3 yrs
Cleanliness(brushing, bathing etc) = 0.5 hrs a day= .5*70*365= 1.45 yrs
travelling =1 hr per day= 2.91 years
Work= 6 hrs a day= 17.5 yrs
Hobby= 0.5 hrs a day= 1.45 Yrs
Entertainment \ Idle state of doing nothing=6 hrs per day= 6*70*365=17.5 yrs
Toilet= 0.5 hrs a day= 1.45 yrs

Time Economics of Great Achievers
1- They sleep less. If we assume they sleep just two hours less than others than they will sleep 5.83 yrs less than others.
2- They work more. At a rate of 10 hours per day, they will have worked 11 yrs more than an average human being.
3- They limit time spent on entertainment and invest more time in their hobbies.

This simple mathematics is just to show that the difference between being average and achieving greatness is the amount of time you have and the chunk of which you invest in work. I don't believe in talent. I only believe in work. Talent is a state achieved via work. We all can do this simple mathematics and analyse how we are using our time. Time is the most valuable currency that god has distributed in equal amount to everyone. Einstein didn't have 30 hours in a day. He just made the most out of the 24 that he had. 

Nobody is terminally ill.....

Before holding the moral compass that needs prominent use in today's medical society, lets first dive into the subject matter in hand. What is a terminal illness? 

A terminal illness is one from which there is no expectation of recovery
In the Netherlands where euthanasia is legal, terminal has a concrete definition, it literally means "concrete expectancy of death".

In Oregon where assisted suicide is legal in 'terminal cases', terminal is described as a condition which will "within reasonable judgement, produce death within six months."

A terminal (life-threatening) disease can be described as having five phases: first there is the phase before diagnosis, then there is the acute phase, the chronic phase, the recovery phase, and finally the terminal phase.

1. Before Diagnosis - a period of time when a person begins to recognize symptoms and realizes that he or she may have contracted an illness. There is no one particular moment of recognition but a growing awareness something is wrong.
2. The acute phase - when diagnosis occurs and the person is then forced to understand their situation. Medical decisions will need to be made concerning their care.
3. The chronic phase - between the diagnosis and the result from the treatments during which the patient juggles everyday life with medical treatment. This can last for months.
4. The recovery phase - occurs when final acceptance of their condition is realized. This does not always mean remission, but the ability to cope with the mental, social, physical, religious and financial effects of their illness.
5. The terminal (final) phase - this occurs when death appears as very likely. The focus now moves from attempting to cure the illness to providing palliative care.

With the above preface in place, lets try to interpret my topic. Nobody is terminally ill. YES, you heard it right. The term we so frequently hear in our medical journey has no point in existence for me. Terminal illness is a term that has been defined by many , interpreted by others but misunderstood by the entire human race. I am not here to question the science or the physiology behind these diseases. Being a medical student, i understand and appreciate the science in medicine. My problem is with the humanities, the moral aspect, the ethics woven to this topic. 

I am a doctor. I go to a patient and his family and announce:" i am sorry! You are terminally ill." Imagine the gravity in the words. No four words can make you and your family more sad than hearing these words.The diagnosis of a terminal illness is a life-changing event, not only for the patient but for the patient's family as well, and can trigger feelings of depression. As a medico, it is our job to share the true result with our patients and ready them to take further steps. But i don't agree with the way we do it, the terms we use, the values we portray to our patients.

No doctor should ever tell a patient that he/she is terminally ill. What he must say is: " My knowledge and skill to help you has terminated."

It just a play of words but it changes the entire paradigm of current medical practice of handling these cases. By saying someone that you are terminally ill, you are saying death is inevitable ! By saying your knowledge and skill to help them has terminated, you are saying i cant help you anymore but i don't say god cannot help you.

I don't mean to say that god will magically help the patients with whom we break the news differently and counsel them differently. But correct counselling in these cases can give people hope. NEVER DEPRIVE ANYONE OF HOPE BECAUSE IT MAY BE ALL THEY HAVE. Just by changing the way we counsel the patients and the terminologies we use, we can give patients hope and there are many inspiring, even miraculous recoveries which defy medical diagnosis and knowledge.  

Tests done on a 74 year old woman confirmed the worst suspicions: it was carcinoma, a form of skin cancer. After 20 weeks, patient was cancer-free. “There had been no doubt about her diagnosis,” the doctor says. “But now there was nothing in the biopsies, or the scans.”Somehow, she had healed herself of arguably our most feared disease. “Everyone was thrilled, and a bit puzzled,” she says, with some understatement. “It shows that it is possible for the body to clear cancer – even if it is incredibly rare.”

Another woman was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 42. When the doctor didn't give her any hope, she turned to changing her lifestyle. She radically changed her diet and exercise routines. And six months later the tumor was gone. Another woman turned to faith. She says she beat cancer not with chemotherapy but with the law of attraction, the strong willpower to not give up and mentally fighting with the disease.

I know i am pointing out at the most minority of cases maybe 1 in a million to make my point. But what we medicos must accept is that healing is not a purely 1+1=2 phenomenon. Human body is a complex blend of physical, mental, spiritual, social and psychological entities. Healing is not only done by chemotherapy, healing can be done by faith! I am a future doctor but never in my most logical of moments will i say that i treated a disease. I will say i gave you the tools, aided you with my skill but the actual healing was done by a power higher than all mere mortals.

The physiology of terminal illness is a developing subject. we don't know everything about for eg: cancer. So what / who gives us rights as responsible medical professionals to predict someone's death or take away the hope of life. The therapy of these diseases is mostly based on patient responses than concrete scientific and medical evidences. We don't know why some medicines work or how they work. We just know that they work. Our knowledge is very limited. As a result, we cannot ridicule any hypothetical theories on why the handful of women overcame these diseases the way they did. Maybe the body has a special mechanism to fight cancer that through their unconventional methods like adopting radical diet clicked within these women. Maybe these women were genetically more suited to fight terminal illness. We just don't know. 

In this bliss of not knowing. i feel safe that my arguments cannot be ridiculed because noone knows the truth. Maybe i am completely wrong about the physiology but i am not wrong about how we doctors must handle sensitive cases. We must be symbols of hope even when we convey the most painful of diagnosis. Since we don't know the treatment (tats why they are called terminal in the first place), the least we can do is offer hope and allow if not encourage patients to adopt unconventional treatment methods that may not confer with modern science. At the end, healing starts in the human brain. So we must be open to newer unconventional methods of treatment and study these miraculous cases in more seriousness than naming them just a happy miracle in a news headlines. These patients healed. They are our data. We need to analyse them with an open mind but also within the realms of logic and science. 

The main idea that i want to impart is much more important than the science involved. Doctors must be more compassionate, more involved, more supportive and provide all encouragement of life instead of declaring someone terminally ill. Noone is terminally ill. We just don't have the keys to unlock the world that has stayed hidden from us. A little change and a diplomatic use of words can bring about a revolution in lives of patients who have lost hope for life.  

Why "ROCKSTAR" is one of my favorite movies?

While most people may not remember this movie fondly, Rockstar starring Ranbeer Kapoor is one of my best movies ever. I believe it is an underrated movie that went over most people's heads. It did good but mostly because of the music and Ranbeer's acting not because of the philosophy that the movie seeks to impart.

This is not a movie review. I am writing about it because i feel connected to this movie in many ways. Ranbeer is a wannabe Rockstar with dreams bigger than his reach. He wants to rock. He loves music. That is it ! We all dream of doing big things in life. There are two types of people: Dreamers and Dreamers & Doers. Doing makes all the difference. What are you willing to do to achieve your dreams? To what corner of the world are you willing to travel? To what extent are you ready to be hated by everyone? What risks are you willing to take? It defines who we ultimately become as a person.

Ranbeer was willing to break his heart to achieve his dream. WOW! Yes, the same heart that we so tenderly take care of. We even avoid falling in love just because we want to protect our heart and dont wanna let somebody else enter your private spaces. We risk so much to avoid the risk of being hurt. But the power of a dream condemns you to live with hurt and guilt ! Maybe sometimes its the pain that leads us to success rather than the pleasures of life. Pain has huge potential for change.

When Ranbeer sees no way out, he seeks solace in god. He asks god for answers . Even when his family discarded him, god in a way accepted him. There is a hidden message in this plot. We all are children of god. Even when there is no way out, god shows mercy and light. God gives his hardest battle to his bravest soldiers. Even when there is nothing to hang on to while falling from the cliff of tragedies, god is that unbreakable branch that has the power to save our lives. When the times have been tough and there has been no signs of answers from another person, i always turn to faith. Faith has great powers !

And last but not the least, Ranbeer loves like crazy. His love becomes his obsession which may not always be a good thing but it shows that his love and passion had the power to cross moral boundaries and social conventions. He was ready to sacrifice everything, even his hard fought success for his woman. We can look it at two ways. He was utterly stupid or he was a genuine lover. Love is such a sacred feeling that it seems that not giving your all is a crime. People today love halfheartedly.  Career, success, fame, social status, money are our leading priorities. But the movie puts light to such a beautiful character who is ready to sacrifice all the things that we so desperately crave for his love. Now that is beautiful.

Maybe i saw a half full glass when others saw a half empty one. But i loved the movie. I love what it tries to put into perspective. It is not just another movie for me. It is special. It is a story of ambition, love, heartbreak and faith that pierced my heart in all the right ways. If i have not given all the spoilers, you can check it out for yourself.

नभनिएका सब्दको समवेदना मलाई ....

ति सब्द घाटीका द्वारहरु मा आज पनि अडिएका छन् र आज पनि मलाई प्रस्न गर्दछन !
हाम्रो अस्तित्व तब थियो जब यी भावना बगेर उसको दिल सम्म पुगेको भए मात्र ...
न तिमीले हाम्रो उच्चारण गरेउ , न तिम्रा भावनाका भेल बग्न पायो न उसको अतृप्त चाहानाहरु साकार भए ....
एउटा निस्पट्ट सुन्यताले तीन हत्या गरेउ तिमीले....उसको, तिम्रो र अन्जान तथा निर्दोष हामि सब्दको !

के गल्ति थियो र मेरो? म केवल एस्तो मस्तिस्कमा जन्मिए जो संग भावना उच्चारण गर्ने सामर्थ्य थिएन...
हेर यॊ दुनिया लाइ .....सब्दका सुनामीले मानिसको अंग अंग स्पर्श गरिरहेछन ! माया र घृणा दुवै ताल मा ताल मिलाई सब्द को सुरमा
नाचिरहेछन !! हामी सब्द को अस्तित्व तब थियो जब उ तिम्रो सामु थिई ! तिम्रो डरले मलाई निरुत्साहित पार्दै थियो...तिमीले मलाई कम्जोर
बनायोउ तर मनमा झिनो आसा थियो माया भरिए पछि एकदिन सब्दमा पोखिनेछन तर तिमीले माया सबै आखा बाट बगायोउ !

सब्द बाट पोखिएका भए आज तिम्रा भावना आखा बाट बग्ने थिएनन् होला !
हामी जिवन्त हुने थियोउ होला !
आज तिमि संग न सब्द छ न भावना....
बधाई छ तिम्रो हारको ....
आफु त मरेउ मरेउ कलिला सब्द लाई पनि गर्भमै मारेउ !!

Deep...