I am starting to see through myself. I am starting to notice subtle patterns developing gradually over the years in our lives. I might look like a 'social media hater', but I have become more of a social media researcher. All addicts fail to see the frail nature of their self-control. They fail to see the pointlessness of their behaviors. They are so engrossed in the dopamine hits that they are completely out of touch with ground reality. This is the reason why I take breaks from social media because when I am on it, I fail to see that I have become a narcissistic asshole, just like everyone around me. Only when I am off it, I see the critical nature of the problem. Narcissism is spreading more rapidly than COVID did, and we are heading towards an inevitable social accident.
It would be very intolerant of me to lament all social media users as narcissists. Everyone on social media is not a narcissist. However, I have to concede that most people are showing tendencies of clinical narcissism on social media and, it is a worrying prospect, to say the least.
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), or narcissism, is a personality disorder characterized by a sense of grandiosity, the need for attention and admiration, superficial interpersonal relationships, and a lack of empathy. It often accompanies other psychiatric disorders and can be difficult to treat.
Let us dissect some narcissistic traits on display on social media these days.
- Grandiosity
- An Exaggerated sense of self-importance
- Feeling superior to others and that one deserves special treatment
- Feelings are often accompanied by fantasies of unlimited success, brilliance, power, beauty, or love
We are kings on social media. Our social media accounts are accounts of our glories. Just like historians carved ballads of the greatness of the emperors and soldiers, we blow our own trumpets incessantly on social media. Just visit the profile of some of these people and read their bios. "Papa's angel, attitude king, welcome to my kingdom, beauty queen, learner, adventurer, hello stalker" and yada yada yada. What do they think of themselves? Why should every photo we post, be attached with a quote that reflects our superiority and attitude? Singles think that their life is the best and the people in relationships think that all singles are losers. There is no harmony and zero sense of ground reality. My social media account is an exaggerated, carefully constructed ideal version of myself. I am not as great as I look on social media. But the constant feedback of validation that I gain from social media makes me think that I am the king of the world. Even if I post the shittiest photo of mine, there will be someone who will comment "Great Photo". We think that we are superior to others because we have more followers, likes, and comments. A person with 1000 followers starts behaving like a celebrity. They post "Ask me anything" to quench their thirst for being interviewed like a celebrity. Everybody feels like a fucking celebrity on social media, at least on their birthdays. Imagine that you are a girl, and you are getting 100 comments about how great you look, and 100s of messages from desperate creeps trying to hit on you; you will unconsciously start believing that you are the most beautiful girl on the planet, even if are a giant loser in real life. Social media works in a way that makes you feel validated. That’s why you keep coming back for more. But the culture of seeking validation and gaining empty validation and praise for doing absolutely nothing has sky-rocketed our delusions of grandeur. Even if you are a cat, you feel like a lion on social media because the people, the culture, and the algorithms reinforce your delusion every single day.
- Excessive need for admiration
Why do we post so many photos on social media? Why do we have to share most of our thoughts on social media? Why should every achievement and every event in your life be registered on social media? It is because we have turned into zombies who feed on admiration and outside validation. Why would anyone post what they ate for breakfast if they are not expecting people to admire the richness of their breakfast? Why would anyone post about their achievements, travels, and riches if they are not seeking admiration and validation? All in all, everything we do on social media, from passing social commentary on current issues to posting our cat photos, is a desperate plead for admiration.
- Lack of empathy
I can tell from experience. People say things on the internet that they would not dare say in person. Social media lacks many things, but it lacks empathy the most. We relentlessly judge people based on their appearance on social media. We fight on the stupidest of shit. We are not afraid to call names and pass comments about each other's mothers and sisters. We troll people. We murder someone's image for seconds of laughter. We do not care about the actuality of the situation that the other person might be in. We even make fun of failures, catastrophes, and misfortunes. We troll sportsmen ridiculously when they have a bad game. It means nothing to us but it might seriously affect the mental wellbeing of the person involved. Social media is turning us into sociopaths who can't register the pain, suffering, or grief of someone else.
- Superficial relationships
I have talked with 100s of people on social media. I became friends with many of them. If the vibes matched, we shared a secret or two as well. I can tell you with 100% confidence that none of the connections that I made on social media lasted or had any meaningful impact on my life. It was just empty chatting with a random stranger on the internet. I spent time and energy on connections that meant nothing. These people wouldn’t even care if I die today. Noone reached out to me when I disappeared from social media. It makes me think. What was the point of trying to know someone through social media? I don't give a fuck about any of my facebook friends, past or present, and neither do they. These online connections are superficial and temporary.
Apart from these, social media also makes us disregard the real important aspects of our lives in exchange for the cheap thrills. Our real identity gets polluted with our image on social media. We become someone else trying to fit in. We become consumed by the need to look better on social media. Narcissism is an epidemic that social media has accentuated.
To escape this inferno, all we gotta do is realize that social media is a fake world where everyone is trying their best to show off their best life. It is important to realize the distinction between valuable and popular. I can become popular overnight by licking a dog's ass right now, but what value would that carry for society and humanity? People whose validation you seek so desperately to foster your ego would not even notice if you were gone and will replace you with another narcissist in a heartbeat.
Only a narcissist would:
-post photos of his breakfast
-post videos of his cute pet every day
-have an opinion about everything
-post every achievement, no matter how minute
-post every moment of his travels
-post every thought that crossed his head
-be mean to strangers on the internet
-seek admiration and validation for simply existing
-build superficial relationships through social media
-be a self-serving, politically correct, perfect asshole!
Thank god, I am no longer one of you!
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